Spectre of Disappointment

I knew that Spectre couldn't live up to the awesomeness that was Skyfall for me.  I knew that, but gosh was I still disappointed.  Now, there are good Bond films and bad ones, and there are ones that are just okay.  Spectre was still better than films like Quatum of Solace or A View to a Kill, but it suffers from a couple of major sins.

A movie can be bad; it can be downright terrible, but the one thing a movie should never be is boring, especially a James Bond movie.  Spectre had a great opening shot.  That one-er was beautiful, interesting, and really well-done, unlike everything that came after it.  Bond's hanging from a helicopter over Mexico, and I didn't care.  Bond blows up a Spectre base in a sequence so carelessly put together that it only lasts a minute.  There's no dramatic countdown.  No self-destruct sequence.  He basically tosses a cigarette aside as he walks away and lets the base Michael Bay itself to death.  Almost every action sequence in the film receives this little emotional investment.  I cared so little about anything happening throughout the entire film, and it felt like Daniel Craig and Sam Mendez felt the same way.

I'll be honest, I wrote some myself some bad fan fiction when I was in middle and high school. . . but I never tried to sell it as a Hollywood feature film.  [SPOILER ALERT] Blowfeld in Bond's adopted brother?  Seriously?  Let's just rename him James Coincidence or Fraternal Bond.  Oh, and let's just retcon the last three movies so Blowfeld was pulling the strings all the time.  Quantum was a part of Spectre?  I guess I could buy that if I didn't know that Quantum was invented to replace Spectre during the whole Spectre/Blowfeld rights debacle.  Silva is a Spectre agent?  I could maybe buy it, again if it had actually been set up instead of retconned later.

Also, I was not impressed with Sam Smith's "Writing's on the Wall."  It set the tone for the whole move:  BORING.  I know Bond films don't always work the name of the film into the song.  A lot of the time it doesn't even make sense when they do.  But you couldn't work with Spectre?  Seriously?  Even just as nonsensical as "Your love is like a Spectre."  Boom.  Bond song.  Uses the title of the movie.  Done.

Basically, I wish we could all just pretend this Bond film didn't happen, let it fade away like a spectre.